Regard Me As A Cautionary Tale

Let me preface this entry with two disclaimers. #1 - I am an environmentally and health conscious person who for a variety of reasons often doesn’t eat like one. Yes, I”m a hypocrite, but at least I understand why I shouldn’t eat processed food and McDonalds, even if I choose to ignore those reasons. #2 - I love my parents very much and am glad that they have been visiting.

Okay, now I can write the post without getting into too much trouble.

So for the past year or so my eating habits have been pretty terrible. Dinner would often be reasonably healthy (depending on how tired I was and the amount in our checking account), but I never ate breakfast because I had to get up early for work and my stomach always felt sick when I first woke. I would also either skip lunch due to lack of time, laziness in making, or lack of an insect free place to store it (I worked in an entomology lab - there were bugs in the fridge and freezer. In little baggies, but still!) or I would stop while I was driving to the field sites and get crap from Wawa or (gasp!) McDonald’s. I would end up being so hungry by the afternoon that I would just snack on cookies or whatever and give myself heartburn.

But when I started this new job in a normal office with regular hours, I actually got on a schedule. I ate breakfast every morning with whole grains and protein. I had plain organic yogurt and fresh fruit as a snack, and a salad or turkey wrap or homemade soup for lunch. We had grilled chicken and avocado or veggie stirfry and brown rice for dinner, and if I got the munchies I had a small handful of popcorn or a little bowl of sherbet. I basically swore off soda and sugary drinks.

And lo, it was as the dieticians had foretold unto me. For I was no longer sick in the mornings, no longer felt tired and bloated all the time (even though I was getting up brutally early), and my heartburn was vanished. I lost a little weight, had more energy and fewer headaches, and was in a much better mood. I was keeping track of my calories and I saw that it was good.

Then my parents came to visit. Bless their hearts.

They only see us once a year so of course they want to spend lots of time with us and take us out to dinner and stay up late chatting. And the holiday season likewise descended upon us. Gone went my schedule with my early bedtime and my free time after work to make lunch for tomorrow. Gone went only having the food I’d brought living in the kitchen at work, now piled high with holiday goodies a mere meter from my desk. Gone went waking up early to eat breakfast. Between parents and work and holiday parties I’ve had a week of cookie swaps and Chinese food and pizza and Chili’s and spicy chicken sandwiches and Chic-Fil-A and candy samplers. Oh and lets not forget the soda.

And, as was prophesied to me, I have reaped the whirl-wind. Plagues of nausea, heartburn, migraines, insomnia, bloating, and exhaustion have come upon me in Biblical proportions. And I have repented, yea, many times greater than my sin. I have seen the error of my ways and have forsworn my former eating habits.

Or at least I will when Christmas is over and my diet is back in my own hands. We’re eating veggies, brown rice, and grilled chicken for a month when this holiday is over and we’re not going to any New Year’s parties!

So what is the lesson here? All that stuff doctors and your mom have told you about eating your veggies, eating less sugar and fat, getting full night’s sleep, and breakfast being the most important meal of the day? That stuff is true. And if that doesn’t convince you, I’ll leave you with a thought I heard on NPR:

“The first thing they do when they want a new sumo wrestler to gain a lot of weight is to stop them from eating breakfast.”

~ by lycaon on December 21, 2007.